Headlines (My Version)

Yard Eats Man (Getting newspaper far more dangerous than believed)

People Don't Like Rick Perry But Only Those Who Have Met Him (Cain Leads in Texas)

Herman Cain, "I did not have sex with that woman those women." (No need to type anything in here)

Ghadaffi: Getting Killed Pain in the A## (OK, don't click on this one, please)

Bernie Madoff's Wife and Son Will Never Forgive Him (Have you noticed that Wall Streeters only go to jail if they steal from RICH people?)

Global Warming Skeptic Changes Mind (Announces Energy Cartel Money Not Enough to Cheer Death of Planet)