Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Dear Mr. Watchman On the Wall

Thank you for the nice pamphlets on how bad I've been in this life and how giving money to your organization will get me past that skeleton with the scythe and up the shining escalator in the clouds. It's nice to see that you have added first class mail as a method of delivery in addition to hanging around in public toilets and leaving them on the urinals. I would be interested to know who gave you my name and address so I could thank them personally, but since there's no return address on the envelope I guess that won't be forthcoming. I am also gratified to see that you've added a new pamphlet to your arsenal. It's the one that shows Al Gore looking like Don Corleone and says that all scientists are atheists who pray to the Moon goddess Ixchel and Gaia, the Earth goddess also known as Mother Nature). That's some pretty nifty mental gymnastics, don't you think? Atheists who pray to a goddess? In addition to Al Gore, scientists, the moon goddess and planet earth, you also attack Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Catholics, college professors, homosexuals, hippies, and unions. That's a pretty good coalition promoting this global warming hoax. I wonder why it isn't getting more traction? Oh and I looked up your organization and found that it's considered a hate group focussed with an anti gay focus. Hey, I also saw the picture of Mr. Scotty. I admit that I don't have very good gay-dar and all, but come on... Really? Now, I guess what with attacking nearly every demographic except right wing white men you were so busy that you missed my pamphlet on evolution. Did you forget to put it in the envelope? I was looking forward to reading the latest creationist blather but you, Mr. Watchman on the Wall, let me down. I was looking forward to the derisive cartoons putting down people who read peer reviewed journals and stuff like that. I need one more rundown of the Piltdown man hoax and how that shoots down 200 years of scientific inquiry, and how brontosauruses just wouldn't fit on the Ark. Would it surprise you to learn that by the time the Devil's twin brother, Charles Darwin came on the scene, evolution was pretty well accepted in scientific circles. Darwin didn't invent it. Even the term "natural selection" predates Darwin. What Darwin did was collate all the evidence and quantify how evolution occurs through the process of the filters we call natural selection. It's brain dead obvious with the tiniest bit of rational evaluation, and that's why it's tough for folks like you, Mr. Watchman. So I would like to return the favor of your pamphlet gifts, even though I'm sad they were incomplete, by connecting you with a ton of new material for future tracts, The Skeptic Society. No, it's not an atheist group, though a fair number of them are, a fair number of them are Christians, Catholics, Jews, and whatever. If you scroll down the page at the link you'll see a review of the history of Evolution that might give you some new ideas on groups to hate. I'm actually pretty happy that you say I'm not going to your heaven when I die. I can't imagine spending eternity trying to have conversations with you and your friends. We would just make each other uncomfortable, so have fun without me. Oh, and "Happy Holidays" to you and yours! Love ya, Steve eSkeptic

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